I flunk..

I flunk SMU interview.

It’s so bad that I just want to erase off the event from my brain.

ERASER PLEASE.

I will just accept and embrace NUS for now.

i learn to love myself more today.

I finally see a doctor today after being sick for 4 days. The doctor is good. He recommend me expensive antibiotics that cost $2.30 each pill. It better work.

And i realize my fever just keep coming on and off. No wonder i feel like crap all day long. I thought it was just a normal flu.

While i was sick like dog, mister yap is having fun. Going late night supper, go clubbing. To think that he was the one who pass me the supervirus.

Today i learn to love myself more. If not, who else will man.

Sick and Gone

I am sick.

I am coughing my lungs out to the extend that I suspect I had H1N1 flu. My nose works like a water tap now. Sometimes it is block, at times it flow like a waterfall.

FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK.

Thats all i can curse. And i don’t even know whose the target of my cursing. And it all begins 2 days ago with………….

A cup of ice lemon tea at West Mall Pasta Mania, with Mengrong.

He took a sip of ice lemon tea from the straw.

I took another sip.

Then he said, “I think i am going to get sick soon. I feel feverish.” And what happen next was the worst 2 days of my life. I had never been that sick before. I can’t even walk in a straight line.

Can’t focus. Everywhere feels like a air-con place. Best of all, can’t go to work.

I miss 2 days of work and it cost me $100. I am sick, so is mengrong. But he recover faster. He recovered yesterday. And up till now, i still have the giddy spells when i stand up or sit down.

This morning i had a stomachache. It hurts like crazy. I know i had to get the poo out of me no matter what, if not the pain wont stop what. But i just cant find the energy to shit out. And halfway through, i feel like vomiting because of my dry swollen throat.

Literally 上吐下泄。Just that mine happens together.

ARRGGG.

能死不能病。

AND FUCK LAH. I haven laminate my poly certificate. Its been lying in the ugly looking paper bag for a week or so.

Nothing to do

Hello diary. I was feeling sad today.

Lots of reason for my sadness. Menses, cramp, the heavy bottom feeling, the something-stuck-in-my-vagina feeling, the boredness.

I finish my freelance work. And i dun feel like doing anything today. MR didnt look for me when he book out. I was waiting to have dinner with him. Planned to. But he bloody didnt reply my sms. i suddenly feel sick of myself and him. You know the feeling of messaging someone, when that someone didnt even have the intention to reply.

He can have his reasons for not replying me. The ultimate reason is “tired”. All NS man have got their reasons for not replying messages one.

Whatever. sian liao. dun even feel like wasting my effort to get angry.

眼不見為靜.

And then when i heard my parents loses $600 playing MJ, i get even more sian.

Just when i was staring blanking at the laptop screen, the blue msn box pop up, my young cousin had just sign in to msn.

I talk to her about her mount everest trip. She send me some photos of her trip.

and i was WOWed. LOOK:

Everything seems so insignificant now.

Never reply, never reply looooooo. What the big deal anyway.

Menses comes, menses come loooooo. Not like i had never been through it before.

The laksa taste bad, let it be lo. I order something else to eat then. I’ll order lamp chop

The power of positive thinking.

Life is not so bad afterall.